If I ever get married in the future, I want that person to be able to support my future goals and my dreams, instead of crushing them like my parents. A slight encouragement will be helpful. If that person can’t be okay with that then its off unless his future goals and dreams are bigger than mine where I can give up mine for his. Idunno. It all depends. All dreams and goals are big, but having support and encouragement from someone you love lifts up some of the weight. It’s better than having them crushed with a questionable future.
19 July 2014
I stayed home everyday, didn’t plan to but it just happened because.. shit didn’t turn out the way it was suppose to.. Where is that person who I thought will be there for me… If I gain a few pounds I won’t be surprised at all. If I ignore everyone that’s not the first anyways. I don’t even give a shit anymore. Last day of college I thought I’d be more active and have a fun summer, but it slowly started tearing apart at the middle of June and it’s getting worse. I don’t care that it’s summer anyways. The only thing I look forward to everyday is my bed and food.
14 July 2014
The most disturbing thing just happened on my ig. I can’t. Why me?!! Now when someone looks at my tagged or I am looking at it I will have to go wash my eyes. LOL The most random tag ever. It startled me. OMG. Help I don’t want that pic in my tagged photos.. not with that penis there. *CRIES*
3 July 2014
The silence in a dark empty room scares me even if it’s my own room.
2 July 2014
It’s almost 4am and my tummy is growling.
1 July 2014
That feeling when someone makes you super excited about something then all of a sudden they change their mind. Maybe it’s a summers thing. I looked forward for the college semester to end to deal with this. You honestly ruined it for me. When I mean ruined I mean wasting time staying at home just waiting for another day to pass. All the motivations I had early May disappear. It’s almost end of June and I am pretty upset and disappointed. Why have I let you ruin my summer break.. just like all the other college breaks or any break in general. I always looked forward to spending time with you and it doesn’t ever work. You always leave me hanging and that shit pisses me off. I know you don’t care cause I can tell. I don’t ever tell you anything and I keep things bottled up all because of you. I thought for once you are willing to spend some time with me cause it’s summer vacation.. but no it’s just like any other long breaks I have. Ugh. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t believe I am feeling like this on my birthday. fuck you boys.
24 June 2014
Facebook is down LOL what a joke. JK. I have tumblr.
19 June 2014
I’ve been at home sleeping and eating and not giving a shit about what day of the week it is or the date. I think I am going to forget to wake up and realize it’s my birthday. I mean I didn’t realize it’s actually next week. I had to do some math to come to realize it’s not 2 weeks but 1 week. It’s on a Tuesday. lol I mean facebook will remind me right? What’s the big deal anymore. I got this feeling in my body that made me think Can I just hide from everyone.. and call my bday party off? Birthday parties were never the same from who the fuck knows. I can’t even remember my birthday from 2012. I remember last yr cause it was the day before graduation just like almost all senior yrs in school. It’s funny how I can’t recall my 2012 birthday but I can recall my 2011 birthday. I guess that’s what depression, pain, broken heart does to you. Meh. Birthdays are never the same, I mean I use to care a lot about it back then because my family doesn’t celebrate it nor do I get presents anyways, but now I really don’t give a shit. I am starting to hate it. It’s always nice when it’s a close friends birthday because I go all out. I make them cards and presents.. something meaningful then store brought presents. Not just birthday, christmas, valentines day, or anniversaries (when I was in a relationship), I went all out to express my love or thoughts for that person. If I can’t make myself happy and feel loved or whatever at least i can make others happy, loved, and special.
Heh. that’s the thing about me. I always put others first before me.
17 June 2014
How do you get rid of depression? I think it stayed far too long. Please get going now…
8 June 2014
You’re really confusing. Ugh.
7 June 2014